This is the sixth in a series of blog posts aimed at capturing my experience following the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care’s 90 Day Commit-to-Sit challenge. Each day, I have been sent an email that contains an excerpt from Maezumi’s Appreciate Your Life with a brief reflection afterwards. My intention is to share my experience each week to foster discussion, illuminate the process of working on a practice, and reflecting on an excerpt that stuck with me from the week.
After two days in a row without a formal practice, I sat down this morning a little shamed and guilty. The weekend had been a whirlwind, and I had not made it a priority to find time away to sit in the midst of out-of-town company. In all honesty, I am still a touch protective/private about my practice – though my friends know I am writing this blog and that I have a regular practice, I still do not go out of my way to put it out there and ask for some time away. Perhaps it feels selfish, or maybe I just don’t want to be that “in your face” about it with other people. Whatever the motivation, I don’t excuse myself to sit when I have people in my home – which means sometimes it doesn’t happen.
However, today with the week staring anew, I decided I too would start anew and get to my cushion early in the morning – no more excuses!
This is what greeted me:
"Please do not forget that your life itself is the practice. Practice is no other than your life."
All my insecurities left me. I gazed out the window, started my timer, and just began to breathe.
As I sat there, I reflected on those words, that life itself is the practice, and I asked myself, was that true for me? Has my practice worked its way into my life? I thought back to my busy weekend, where I had been able to connect with friends I had not seen in a long time, and I thought on our conversations. I thought about the honest and openness of our talks, of the genuine sense of connectedness and the ability to share where we were in the moment.
That was where I was living my practice.
I believe that being able to sit on a regular basis and be with my thoughts has yielded a few different things, but of them, an appreciation for the important people in my life has surfaced time and time again. Actually, I think that I have always known I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by some amazing individuals but contemplating this aspect of my life has given me the ability to verbalize these thoughts. From my perspective, one of the differences of this weekend was that I felt comfortable enough with my own internal process to freely acknowledge that deep appreciation. To allow for connection, bolstered by the afterglow of sitting and connecting with myself.
So here I am, picking right back up and sitting right back down! I will continue to practice both on the cushion, and off. As Maezumi points out, I don’t really think we get the choice. Life is our practice, there is nothing else we have but this moment.
In the coming week, I invite you to ask yourself the same question: Is your life your practice? Where is your sitting/meditating/writing/creating/contemplation practice effecting, improving and deepening your moment to moment living? Looking on it now, is there somewhere you could invite it in? So many possibilities! Until next week,
Be well, friends.